Ascension v mental health you decide?

Ascension v mental health you decide?

I never thought of doing this but it is interesting if you get into the wrong crowd who are so closed minded they make you out to be an bad. Ten years ago, I had a so called best friend and we were as closely knitted as sisters you could never get between us. She believed in Angels and the paranormal and I kind of did. One night we were sat in the bedroom and Archangel Michael decided to show his powerful self. My mind was opened and I was okay this is strange.
That night he told us secrets and told us that we were special through channelling or tapping on our backs.
At that point, I trusted and tested the spirit and he was him as he stated. Nowadays, I have so much distrust because what has happened between I want people’s advice.
I love and still believe in Angels and I still work for them. I just had some bad things happen which I feel is horrifying to my beliefs.
When we got told this. I think our minds flipped out abit as it was found out that the heart and soul was merged as one and we were ascending. The true self is the heart and soul and the head was not. I was told all the time to ignore the head it is an imposter and that it makes the brain look like it has a personality of it’s own. I hope this makes sense.
Then all this supernatural stuff started taking place. I had a fully impacted light body all sparkling. We were just as close and we got through some really enlightening stuff. We were like sisters, we lived abroad and we stuck together like two peas in a pod.
Then, it was all loving, believing in love, the whole lot. Archangel Michael also told us that we were all quarters of each other. Twin flames also came into the scene. I still believe we are but my mind has now taken over due to years of discounting by family. So I took his word and believed it. Now I feel like an idiot, I’ll explain later.
Twin Flames- Archangel Michael told us that we were twins. This meant she was going to meet her twin and now she has. I have heard my twin in spirit say “will you tell her I will date her”. Loud and clear. I will honour his words but I can’t hold on to this.
In a short manner of speaking. A third party got involved friendship wise. This is when it all started going wrong in my eyes. I am like in my 40’s and they are a few years lessor of me. The third party friend started immature copying of the Sister friend. It all got stupid and immature that I sat in the house some days and just shut up so I did not interrogate with truth. Actually, writing this makes me see some stuff that is sooo underpar with me know.
In the beginning, Archangel Michael told us to write scenes of our twins and this would help have fun and create. So we did. I still write the scenes as I am a writer. The third party changed the father figure to another character and started mocking me and joking that I was a demon and dark. The actor used had portrayed a demon character on a famous tv show. These two started to pull away together. I hope this makes sense.
I had to return to my home town, and when I did I was like oh crap these people are so the opposite to how I spent ten years of my life living away from home. At this point, myself and this so called best friend of ten years and a quarter of me turned sister type. I trusted her and my angels like 100000000%, decided to pull away. So remember the twins? Yep, Aparently, the sister found her twin and then it all went down hill. She decided to restrain herself from me and I was already struggling with my head. At home, my family were zero intolerant of doing anything angelic. I was already struggling and becoming weakened by what had happened. I was told to stop talking to Angels, to fear spirits to stop dabbling in it. My mum would stay outside my room almost every night, listening to me either pray out loud. I was told to stop talking to myself in my room.
This is where the split happened the shift from a gift to a mental health issue.
I know I am not crazy. I know I have seen various dimensions in love and seen things like putting my hand through a brick wall with my lightbody.
Both of us had depression or a breakdown so it made things worse. Without blame, I miss everything we did. I still love her but unsure she still loves me.
I was struggling up here alone, she pulled naturally away from me because she had a boyfriend. Now this other third party friend is her best friend. I feel I had a two week bad patch with no one to turn too. For ten years, I channelled Angels and divine energies and now it was changing. With family influencing me and conditioning me to stop doing the things I loved. One day, I started to channel a demon or something, it would not go away, I had no way to control my mind, I was so scared. If I spoke to someone in the head like now or through a text message it said horrid stuff to everyone. I don’t know it came out from no where. I know I had fear in me more I don’t deny that. However, I know that I felt the most horrid energy around me and it was pure dark fear.
Now looking back, I turned to my mum for help as it would not go away. This stage, I was texting me twin sister but it was not nice to her. I regret this but if she had gave me the benefit of the doubt she could have called me on the phone. She never ever gave me the chance to talk to her over the phone. However, what she did do is this. They both (boyfriend) ignored me completely and gave me a silent treatment. This is someone who Archangel Michael said we were quarters of each other. I am a light and very pure and I am devastated with no one to speak to. For example. When a dog died, They said I was being two different people. The head because it was going bad and my heart because I was calling out for help saying it’s not me. I need help.
They ignored this. For example. I cried from the heart when her dog died, but what she wasn’t aware of was my aunty hovering over me as a grown woman stating “oh don’t be stupid” it’s only a dog stop crying”.
I feel sick, worn out and devastated at how I can fall from grace.
I felt the cold rip tear us apart, it was horrifying to feel this. Now I don’t know what to believe in . My family have hammered it home to me that I am a mental health victim, who has gone skitz. Yet, I am a gifted human being ascended as an angelic evolved person. I have no support here at home. I have no friends up here because they don’t believe in angels.
Now, I am sat either fretting, anxious, and wondering if Archangel Michael will keep his promise. I am more in the head than my heart. I am exhausted and I can’t stand living at home. It’s making me closed down to the people I love the most.
My friend won’t talk to me no more, she won’t call and this makes me feel like she was never a friend in the first place. We lived in Canada, did supernatural things which we seen together. All they do is shut me out and now I feel lost. Do I believe in my angels and trust or do I go closed down and loose my ascension process.

What happened next.

I had to fight for this demon because the ego started to think it was funny to say I was one. I did not go to a doctor because I know now that when this 3rd party person started joking about the father character stated previous. This because I was vulernable at the time in my own depression. It must have entered the psyche and when everything was lost. I felt like I was nothing and not worth existing. I felt like I had been cursed by God and that I had turned against the people I loved. Some how.??

I was terrified and I had no one to help me with the dark thoughts and entities because I could not turn to my quarters and then I felt like I was in a corner and I lashed out at everyone because to me “What God puts together, let no man separate” belief is a core belief. I  know I forgive myself and my angels helped me and Jesus does exist and he saved me. now I have got doubt like it my head or voices will say you are going mad. that’s it I was told that I was merged and one con-joined with my other half. Now I hear fears or voices saying “you are you” so does that make me alone?

All of this could be different if I had never had the 3rd party come between us. Two if I never had to return home to my family. Sometimes I seen all this happen and I don’t know what is left for me to believe in . I am petrified to open myself up again. I know my angels are loyal and they still help me, but I feel I gone back down to 3d not 5d which I know exists because it is so much loving.

I feel like a demon mixed with what I have seen in spirit has pulled me away and now I am scared of not going to heaven. Like I have done angel stuff  for so long, now I fell and feel scared to be loved because of what happened to me. I feel I don’t trust and I can’t fit in to 3d everyday life.

Your thoughts very welcomed.